A WordPress Love Letter
WordPress…oh my dear! When I first met you, you were as beautiful as I heard from other villagers with your elegant features and ease of access. But by no means are you easy…I definitely don’t think you’re that type. But I felt a certain kind of way during our first encounter. I was happy to meet you, but I felt, I felt…
Word on the street, and once again by no means do I think you’re that type of person, was that you were easy to approach. I knew nothing about you except the laundry list of positive adjectives used of others. When you invited me to your home for the first time, it was in Twenty-fifteen. I saw how others interior decorated your residence with such eloquence, the patterns of creations all over your home made it feel thematic. I never got tired of your appearance. It’s obvious your reputation precedes you; what you offered seemed easily accessible, but truly only for the initiated.
But allow me to explain why the feelings of deception. Because of the many good things stated, I thought the relationship we could form wouldn’t be so difficult. I wanted to adorn you in the best dress I could possibly find; colorful themes just like ones before. My inexperience prevents me from giving you something from scratch. In the marketplace, that popular boutique called “Mojo’s” carried a wide array of selections–intricate designs prepared by the most elite. When I found my first for you, an SKT Black skin, I thought this would perfect as it resonated with me with its clean marriage of orange and black–Halloween if it went from pranks to professional.
Alas, when I went in, I was limited in what I could customize. I saw that you would allow me to brand my insignia so the world would know we were together. I would design your header with the daintiest of gems. Even your footer would outshine Dorothy’s ruby red slippers as your kicks would be colorful–nothing skeumorphic or too gradient, but flat…and I mean in a good way.
Customized to be Caressed Carefree Carelessly
But from the basic customization, I could not touch your body…then you hit me with a surprise. You said you spoke primarily in PHP while I only spoke HTML. The way we communicated suddenly became foreign and it was harder to go farther with you. I thought eventually I would be able to find somewhere to drag and drop my things–pictures, music, videos, etc. Alas there was not a spot. I didn’t want to cascade and style the content of our conversations. When I started from scratch, it was too time consuming on my cuticles and created callouses. But I guess there are some things that never really change.
Our relationship grew increasingly frustrating: I would try to talk to you the only way that came easy for me, the only way I knew how, but you didn’t really put forth the same effort. You…you were kind of stubborn. Our language barrier was a problem–I wanted to be a visual communicator where what you see is what you get. But you said you enjoyed deep conversation especially through text. If I wanted to really impress you, see how you truly function, and make a staggering impact, I would have to speak in your native tongue. My methods weren’t working and you love it when I take charge and become aggressive–you blush knowing that I paid attention to which commands to give to make you follow.
I eventually broke down giving into your demands to surpass expectations because I know how much of a wonderful person you are. So just for you, I enrolled myself in classes, constantly practicing and finding opportunities in projects, speaking to other servers to acquire your language learning how to pull the right information to your heart. Chris Coyier and his friend eventually wrote a comprehensive novel solely dedicated to your character because they to, speak highly of you; technical prose synthesized because despite your popularity, you’re widely misunderstood. They spoke to the editor, and knew exactly how to work with you, how to translate your vocabularic complexity in something simple for everyone to understand. Therefore, there won’t be a question to the best CMS model–you will be exceptional standard with no competition.
Perpetrators like to cheat and short change you, over accessorizing in plugins to cheapen you; they risk your security speaking in code with poor php possibly poisoning the blood pumping through your veins. Professionals speak directly prettify and accessorize in plugins that reveal your real stature. I am a gentlemen, I am a professional. I hope and pray we could deepen our relationship and do amazing things we never thought possible once I am fluent in your main method of conversation. I want nothing more than to further feature your domination speaking sweet phrases that would filter your default behavior from Betty basic to a doting dynamic.
In closing, WordPress, I think I’m falling in love with you as overcoming your learning curves, sexy though challenging, are very rewarding. You’re not like your peers; you have so much depth and density that sky’s the limit on what you can do. Not shallow, but your gorgeous retrievable backend qualities makes for an attractive, more irresistible, relation, smart, beautifully designed frontend. You are powerful amongst your gender as I can see your parents raised you well; I just hate that the children are the only ones willing to change while parents revert to their old ways when they decide to update. Beggars can’t be choosers I guess.
WordPress, with all your flaws and quality traits, I would love nothing more than forever to have first dates everyday.
A Simple Developer
To the readers–in the comments below, please share your first experience or general experience with WordPress. As a developer, you can see from the letter what my first time was like. Also check out Matt Mullenweg’s 2013 Dear WordPress letter to celebrate WP’s tenth anniversary. I hope you enjoyed the article. God bless.